Why Our Work Matters

Creating Change Before Patterns Become Legacies

None of us arrives at adulthood without a story.

Throughout our lives, what we experience, observe, hear, and learn can influence how we see ourselves, relate to others, respond to challenges, and make decisions.

Some of what we learn serves us well and deserves to be carried forward. Other beliefs, behaviors, and responses may no longer serve us in the same way.

Becoming aware of these influences gives us an opportunity to recognize which beliefs, behaviors, and responses we want to carry forward and which we may want to change. This is not about assigning blame; it is about understanding ourselves more clearly.

As we become adults—and, for some, parents—what we have experienced and learned may influence not only our own lives, but also how we interact with our families, coworkers, communities, and children.

THE PERSON BEHIND THE PARENT

48 %

OF PARENTS

say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming.

Source: U.S. Surgeon General, Parents Under Pressure (2024)

89%

OF PARENTS

want more resources to help them discuss grief with young children.

Source: New York Life Foundation,

State of Grief Report (2025)

Before there was a parent, there was a person. And before that person became an adult, they were a child—learning from what they experienced, observed, heard, and were taught.

Those early experiences, along with later losses, relationships, expectations, and learned behaviors, may influence how a parent communicates, responds to stress, establishes boundaries, handles conflict, and relates to their children.

Looking at the person behind the parent allows us to consider not only what a parent is doing, but what may be influencing how they respond.

Parents bring their own experiences into parenting, and what children see, hear, and experience at home can influence them. Children are also influenced by their own experiences with friends, at school, in their neighborhoods, and in the world around them. These experiences can influence the beliefs, behaviors, and responses they carry into adulthood.

WHAT CHILDREN SEE, HEAR, & LEARN

Children are constantly taking in information about themselves, relationships, and the world around them. Yet they may encounter loss, change, disappointment, separation, and other difficult experiences before they have the ability to fully understand what they are feeling or how to respond.

During these experiences, children often look to the adults around them for guidance and reassurance. What adults say and do—and how they respond to stress, relationships, disagreement, and conflict—can influence what children come to understand about themselves, others, and how to handle difficult situations.

As children grow, their world expands, bringing new people, places, and experiences into their lives that can influence what they believe, how they respond, and the choices they make.

1 in 11

U.S. CHILDREN

will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18.

Source: Judi's House/JAG Institute, Childhood Bereavement Estimation

Model (2026)

LEARNING BEYOND THE HOME

37%

More than one-third of Chicago children were exposed to firearm violence.

The research included both indirect exposure, such as hearing gunshots or knowing someone who had been shot, and direct exposure, such as witnessing a shooting or being threatened with a firearm.

Source: Academic Pediatrics, “Childhood Exposure to Firearm Violence in Chicago and Its Impact on Mental Health” (2024)

As children spend more time beyond the home, they encounter different people, environments, relationships, and circumstances that become part of their everyday lives.

Many of these experiences are positive. Others may involve loss, conflict, violence, peer pressure, or circumstances they are not yet equipped to understand or navigate.

These experiences do not determine what a child will do or who they will become. They can, however, influence how children understand and respond to the world around them. Recognizing these influences gives us an opportunity to provide guidance, strengthen skills, and support healthier responses before harmful patterns become established.

12.6%

of Illinois children ages 0–17 have experienced two or more adverse childhood experiences.

Source: National Survey of Children's Health (2023–2024)

40%

of U.S. high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.

Source: CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey (2023)

OUR CONNECTION TO VIOLENCE PREVENTION

Violence is complex. No single experience, behavior, or circumstance explains why it occurs.

That is why we believe violence prevention can include looking beyond the behavior we see and considering what may be influencing it.

Life experiences, relationships, learned behaviors, environmental influences, loss, and grief may all play a role. Understanding these influences does not excuse harmful behavior or assign blame. It gives us another place to consider where change may be possible.

A Pathway From Grief addresses one part of the broader violence-prevention picture through trauma-informed, non-clinical education and coaching. We help individuals and families increase awareness, strengthen communication, recognize learned behaviors and responses, and make more intentional choices about what they model, teach, and carry forward.

Our role in prevention is education—helping people better understand what may be influencing their choices and responses while building the knowledge and skills to respond differently moving forward.