Why Our Work Matters

Creating Change Before Patterns Become Legacies

None of us arrives at adulthood without a story.

Throughout our lives, what we experience, observe, hear, and learn can influence how we see ourselves, relate to others, respond to challenges, and make decisions.

Some of what we learn serves us well and deserves to be carried forward. Other beliefs, behaviors, and responses may no longer serve us in the same way.

Becoming aware of these influences gives us an opportunity to recognize which beliefs, behaviors, and responses we want to carry forward and which we may want to change. This is not about assigning blame; it is about understanding ourselves more clearly.

As we become adults—and, for some, parents—what we have experienced and learned may influence not only our own lives, but also how we interact with our families, coworkers, communities, and children.

THE PERSON BEHIND THE PARENT

48 %

OF PARENTS

say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming.

Source: U.S. Surgeon General, Parents Under Pressure (2024)

89%

OF PARENTS

want more resources to help them discuss grief with young children.

Before there was a parent, there was a person. And before that person became an adult, they were a child—learning from what they experienced, observed, heard, and were taught.

Those early experiences, along with later losses, relationships, expectations, and learned behaviors, may influence how a parent communicates, responds to stress, establishes boundaries, handles conflict, and relates to their children.

Looking at the person behind the parent allows us to consider not only what a parent is doing, but what may be influencing how they respond.

Parents bring their own experiences into parenting, and their children are learning from what they see, hear, and experience at home. At the same time, children are having experiences of their own. Together, these influences become part of the story they carry with them into adulthood.

Source: New York Life Foundation,

State of Grief Report (2025)

WHAT CHILDREN SEE, HEAR, & LEARN

Just as adults were influenced by what they experienced and learned growing up, children are developing their own understanding of themselves, relationships, and the world around them—often before they can fully understand what they see, hear, and experience.

They may encounter loss, change, disappointment, separation, and other difficult experiences before they fully understand what they are feeling.

During these experiences, children often look to the adults around them for guidance and reassurance. What adults say, what children witness, and how adults respond to stress, relationships, disagreement, and conflict can all shape what children learn about themselves, others, and how to respond to difficult situations.

As children grow, so does the world influencing what they experience and learn.

1 in 11

U.S. CHILDREN

will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18.

Source: Judi's House/JAG Institute, Childhood Bereavement Estimation

Model (2026)

LEARNING BEYOND THE HOME

37%

More than one-third of Chicago children were exposed to firearm violence.

The research included both indirect exposure, such as hearing gunshots or knowing someone who had been shot, and direct exposure, such as witnessing a shooting or being threatened with a firearm.

Source: Academic Pediatrics, “Childhood Exposure to Firearm Violence in Chicago and Its Impact on Mental Health” (2024)

As children grow, their experiences and influences extend beyond the home. Peers, schools, neighborhoods, social media, communities, and other environments become part of what they see, experience, believe, and learn.

Some of these influences are positive. Others may expose children to difficult experiences, conflict, violence, or circumstances they are not yet equipped to understand or navigate.

These experiences do not determine what a child will do or who they will become. They may, however, influence how children understand and respond to the world around them. Recognizing these influences early on gives us another area to consider in violence prevention.

12.6%

of Illinois children ages 0–17 have experienced two or more adverse childhood experiences.

Source: National Survey of Children's Health (2023–2024)

40%

of U.S. high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.

Source: CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey (2023)

OUR CONNECTION TO VIOLENCE PREVENTION

Violence is complex. There is no single experience, behavior, or circumstance that explains why it occurs.

That is why we believe violence prevention can include looking beyond the behavior we see and considering what may be influencing it.

Life experiences, relationships, learned behaviors, environmental influences, loss, and grief may all be part of a person's story. Understanding those influences does not excuse harmful behavior or assign blame. It gives us another place to consider where change may be possible.

A Pathway From Grief addresses one part of the broader violence-prevention picture through trauma-informed, non-clinical education and coaching. We help individuals and families increase awareness, strengthen communication, recognize learned behaviors and responses, and make more intentional choices about what is modeled, taught, and carried forward.

Our role in prevention is education—helping people better understand what may be influencing them and providing practical tools that can support different choices before harmful behaviors and responses become further established.